Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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