Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
wanna go halves on a baby?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Randomize
