11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize