if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I need to calm my uterus...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
