I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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