i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize