Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
