Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.

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(303): View more from Colorado

do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???

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(949): View more from California

I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.

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(845): View more from New York

Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE

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(440): View more from Ohio

omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?

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