She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Randomize
