Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?

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  (541): If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs? http://tfl.nu/k19f
  Replies (20) Good night (6163) Bad night (938)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.

  (214): View more from Texas

  kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.

  (903): View more from Texas

  I'll be there in 10

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  (903): I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem. (214): kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night. (903): I'll be there in 10 http://tfl.nu/kykh
  Replies (19) Good night (6063) Bad night (870)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore

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  (781): I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore http://tfl.nu/jp8t
  Replies (19) Good night (986) Bad night (4213)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  haha i know

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  (406): i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt. (1-406): haha i know http://tfl.nu/vo1w
  Replies (21) Good night (7810) Bad night (1306)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.

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  (517): Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that. http://tfl.nu/tw02
  Replies (4) Good night (949) Bad night (2317)
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  (914): View more from New York

  The ice cream man just told me to use protection.

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  (914): The ice cream man just told me to use protection. http://tfl.nu/w7kz
  Replies (6) Good night (2567) Bad night (793)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.

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  (+44): I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand. http://tfl.nu/tiko
  Replies (2) Good night (879) Bad night (1369)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?

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  (330): if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck? http://tfl.nu/xqma
  Replies (8) Good night (881) Bad night (1294)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.

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  (443): Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack. http://tfl.nu/wgh7
  Replies (5) Good night (1209) Bad night (499)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.

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  (701): in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head. http://tfl.nu/rwbn
  Replies (11) Good night (2797) Bad night (626)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...

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  (870): Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories... http://tfl.nu/piuz
  Replies (1) Good night (636) Bad night (414)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.

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  (202): Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there. http://tfl.nu/rixv
  Replies (3) Good night (402) Bad night (954)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions

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  (979): Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions http://tfl.nu/nh9u
  Replies (4) Good night (360) Bad night (536)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.

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  (517): I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive. http://tfl.nu/2l27
  Replies (0) Good night (825) Bad night (342)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"

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  (240): Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin" http://tfl.nu/qnbq
  Replies (2) Good night (290) Bad night (624)

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