He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..