My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special