Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!

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  (202): he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night! http://tfl.nu/w1it
  Replies (9) Good night (1655) Bad night (515)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Call me "white mamba"

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake

  (251): View more from Alabama

  It is white.

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  (251): Call me "white mamba" (334): Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake (251): It is white. http://tfl.nu/1p0c
  Replies (5) Good night (1073) Bad night (1500)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.

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  (859): I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more. http://tfl.nu/etjd
  Replies (18) Good night (1039) Bad night (3337)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  From behind she looks like Richard Simmons

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  (608): From behind she looks like Richard Simmons http://tfl.nu/z6dn
  Replies (7) Good night (528) Bad night (3233)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??

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  (519): i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man?? http://tfl.nu/83cs
  Replies (10) Good night (4447) Bad night (1101)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five

  (1-262): View more from Wisconsin

  bitch

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  (262): dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five (1-262): bitch http://tfl.nu/m1tn
  Replies (62) Good night (3127) Bad night (4868)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...

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  (248): i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times... http://tfl.nu/ibyk
  Replies (15) Good night (5563) Bad night (1043)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.

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  (978): she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head. http://tfl.nu/uhfs
  Replies (7) Good night (4372) Bad night (1025)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  His apartment number was 69. I had to.

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  (214): His apartment number was 69. I had to. http://tfl.nu/cn9s
  Replies (22) Good night (8111) Bad night (1008)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night

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  (978): How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night http://tfl.nu/80v5
  Replies (7) Good night (865) Bad night (1983)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can

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  (917): on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can http://tfl.nu/4n6x
  Replies (11) Good night (805) Bad night (896)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.

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  (307): he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back. http://tfl.nu/n0f2
  Replies (21) Good night (582) Bad night (1940)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?

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  (440): Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers? http://tfl.nu/175a
  Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week

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  (303): The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week http://tfl.nu/55dt
  Replies (2) Good night (259) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.

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  (323): I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage. http://tfl.nu/vubj
  Replies (0) Good night (469) Bad night (235)

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