hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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