Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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