well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
