he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
