I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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