M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
well, you know. whores of a feather.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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