My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize