are you still at the devil's house?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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