My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
