Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just had sex on a roof
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
