He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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