so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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