I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
