Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
