I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
