Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.

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(330): View more from Ohio

You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

thats actually pretty good logic

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(301): View more from Maryland

Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get

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(616): View more from Michigan

You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.

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(406): View more from Montana

stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it

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(540): View more from Virginia

I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no

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