i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize