Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
