Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
