I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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