...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
