the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
