somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
my poor anus
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
