dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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