i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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