my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
