If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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