you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i dont even know how to be here
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
