operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Come see our sink grown plant.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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