is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
