so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
