this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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