At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
