ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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