My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
