PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
