So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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