i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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