You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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