i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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