i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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