3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
