Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
