There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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