I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
