how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just found a bag of teeth...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Pooping to opera.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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