That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
