he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
