well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Tornado booty call.. dedication
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
