Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
