Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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