It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
