Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys