Dude, just got a bummer.
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
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Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT