Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.