Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.