It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
