I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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