he told me I talked like a deaf person
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
