shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
